“DO YOU HAVE A DATE YET”??

Multiples times a day, Patrick and I are asked when we are going to get our little Ticos! How I want to answer!! My common response is “we don’t have a date yet, but soon…hopefully May!”

This is usually followed by “why does it take so long” or “are you ready”?!

We are at that point in the endurance race where you can’t quite see the finish line but the people on the sidelines are encouraging you, “you are ALMOST there, so close” and you know they are right-you know they are not blowing smoke-you ARE ALMOST THERE! It’s just that almost part that gets ya you know?! So this is the “not yet but almost” blog

Don’t get me wrong, I am glad that my friends are asking, so no need to stop asking…just know that I can “almost” answer you! If everything goes as it should, we will be setting off in late May, so we really are so close! Strangely enough, the Costa Rican side is ready for us to travel, but we had to go back and do a revised home study since we prepared the home study over 18 months ago and before we travel this has to be current….so….blah blah blah (I really don’t want to bore you with the logistics) but we can taste, can see, can smell that finish line!  The last step will be to get our fingerprints done (for me this will be #4) again in hopes that mine will register correctly since apparently I have “soft” fingerprints that don’t show up well. Okay, if you are reading this, and you know any tips to fix soft fingerprints-I am all ears It’s good to know that if my career in fitness crashes, that a career in bank robbery awaits. I am assuming that thieves have these same soft fingerprints! Ha, in all seriousness, lets hope and pray that they go through this last time with no issues and within a month, we will have a travel date!

So, without a doubt, the next blog will be entitled…..THE LONG AWAITED TRAVEL DATE IS BOOKED!!

I  woke up this morning to an email from Yolanda in Costa Rica that said “you can call them at this number…” That was an awesome way to wake up I must say! I brainstormed questions and things I wanted to say, spent a lot of time on google translate, and emailed back and forth with my friend Nadia who speaks perfect Spanish to get my words “just right”! Well, the notes were helpful, but quite frankly I am not 100 percent sure what really transpired in our conversation! The connection was a little foggy, and there was a lot of “que” and “repeta una mas” but it really does NOT matter because…..bottom line…..we heard their precious voices-and we had a connection! I’m pretty sure I understood that: that they liked the package we sent, Jennifer likes dolls, Jefferson likes cars, both like the beach and watermelon, not sure about dogs (Reo will rise to the challenge of winning their affection   have not yet been on a  bicycle, and like to use the word  ”hola” a lot! We gushed at their sweet voices and even more so when we heard big sis ask lil bro if he wanted to say hola to “mami” and ”papa”!   I tried to say many things and can only hope that it was understood, but I am confident that they understood “nos vemos pronto” (we will see you soon)! It was anything but smooth but everything beautiful! At the risk of sounding uber cheesy, Jerry Maguire said it best, “you had me at hello” or in this case, “usted me tenia en hola”!

It is so much fun getting their rooms ready: painting, building (Patrick is on “trundle-bed” duty), organizing, and decorating. We have been so blessed by sweet friends who are throwing us kid (not baby-ha) showers and that is beyond words.

The short and sweet status update is:

We are waiting on US Immigration application processes for our children and another for ourselves. The details and logistics continue as we preapare documents, and we continue to wade through this and hope that our timeline is still May departure!

Esperando pacientemente!

Let me count the blessings today! This will be a post I will read when I have to look through the foggy haze to see the glimmer of light peeking through, cause today the sun, The Son, was blasting through with scorching rays! The day began early with a strong Costa Rican blend cafe and prayer time, proceeding a  training session with my beautiful (inside and out) client/friend Sheila-a great way to start the morning just in and of itself-I might add (sidenote: just wondering how early I will have to get up when the Ticos are here to have coffee/read/prayer time/exercise? don’t know yet, but confidant it will still be dark out!)…Another client enters as Sheila leaves, and upon leaving she nonchalantly hands me a little envelope. I thank her, and go back up to train Don, then Susan, then get my own workout in, and then open the “little” envelope. Well, it stopped me in my tracks…was a very generous donation to the Ticos…very timely a might add, but that’s just the nature of blessings. They are packaged in the most timely and unique fashions, sometimes tangible, sometimes not-this one just happened to be tangible-timely tangible. I hope she gets as much out of training with me as I do just being in her magnetic presence. Okay, doesn’t stop there…I train Susan, and at the end of session her husband (also a client/friend) points to a “gift” he has for me. Really?! He is the generous one who offered to supply the Keurig coffee’s for Saturday’s big event (how sweet is that?!) Well, his gift was a Keurig maker for the silent auction that he had just bought-wow-people’s kindness and generosity is such a blessing for us to experience, but how amazing for J and J to soon experience! I can only imagine how life changing this will be for them as they learn about all the people that played a role in reaching out to them-in loving them! Oh, God be the glory, this rings in my head! I really hope that one day this can somehow be turned into a book one day with the help of my talented writing friends (you know who you are!) and how this will rock their world- in the best way! The day finishes with our Tuesday night Traumatic Parenting class and that is just a wealth of information, and I am grateful for that and also for the sweet relationships that are being formed. Bob and Lisa’s wisdom is mixed with such realness, candor, and passion-we will cling to this in our upcoming days- I feel certain that we will. I meditate on the blessings of this simple Tuesday.

Now, it is the end of the week and I have a noteworthy decision to make… through much deliberation, we have changed to Ticos  event  date due to potential freezing rain! Freezing rain, that of may or may not happen, but had to make the call!  Rain or no rain, either way I am reminded that:

#1 I am not in control! Certain things are not in our control, but thankfully He is in charge of not only the big, master plan, but even the small details; and #2 I am learning how to be more decisive and confidant. I often hem and haw when making a decision and then ponder “did I do the right thing” wayyy too many times, and that only sucks the life out like a clingy leach! Make a decision Missy and then go with it, I cannot please everybody even if I am sometimes convinced that I can!  I am slowly getting this!

We said yes in our hearts over the weekend, yes to our social worker/agency yesterday, and yes on the official papers tonight! We did! Here is the cliff note version of what where we are:

Documents are being translated from Spanish to English (yes, there are quite a few-mucho mas!) and this will take up to a week; In the meantime we read and learn as much as we can from Iris about them! We will then apply to US immigration for approval for these specific children, and we must get their approval before it goes to the Costa Rican embassy. That is all I know now. Well, I know much more than that really, I know that we have been given a great privilege and a great responsibility, and I know that we serve an even greater God who is in control of this whole process from start to finish. I know He is in this process and these children are anything but a process-they are precious. We hope to travel in a few months, and in the mean time, we gain new insight and information daily. I was just told that “J” and “J” will find out tomorrow that they will have a family! I can only imagine that this will sound strange and probably unfathomable, but in time, they will know that they are loved by us, and more importantly, that they are loved by our Father.

Our little ones, know this…Lord willing (isn’t that a great ancient saying?!) we will be coming for you soon! come for you soon!

Te amo much nos ninos!

After last night’s (well this morning’s) 2:00 am blog, I can’t believe I get to sit down and write this! I can’t believe that I can actually sit down, well, I can’t really, but I will write a few sentences. Let me clarify….I wrote a blog this morning, valentines morning at 2 am but did not publish…but based on the CALL I got exactly one hour ago, I must write this first and then publish them together…okay, so here we go… bear with me, my hands are writing faster than I can keep up, and really, I am not a writer ( just a side note disclaimer)! So,  it’s Thursday morning… I am finishing up training my wonderful client and friend-Sheila-at my house, rushing out the door to go teach what I refer to as my “grumpy ol’ men” class (really they are inspiring at 87 years old but that’s another story for definitely another day) and I’m in the car driving,okay speeding, to class-to get there in time, and then my phone lights up BETH STANLEY calling! I knew, I thought, what that call might be, but maybe she was just calling for more paperwork which wouldn’t be out of the ordinary, but when she said she had Patrick on conference call, and our other angel Iris on conference call (even though she was in Honduras) my heart truly did skip a beat! I couldn’t process what she said at first, as I knew I had to call and make a desperate plea to my fitness friend Susan to see if she could take over my “grumpy ol men” class.  I pretty much knew that I needed to take this call-and might be on the phone for a while-and not to mention that I would be just a little bit distracted for the next few hours-um, I mean days, weeks, years..okay, sorry, anyway….WE WERE MATCHED with two siblings: a boy age 5 and a girl age 8. I listened with enthusiasm and rushed back home to find my friend/client Sheila still there playing with Reo and that was great because she was my first “oh my gosh” hug and I waited with her for five minutes (seemed like 5 hours) for Beth to call back so that we could talk properly. Beth started talking about details but I have no idea really what she was saying because she told sent an email with documents (in Spanish!) and their pictures. Immediate tears as I saw the bright-eyed spiky haired little boy (can’t say name now for legal reasons) and the precious but, I have to say- sad eyed, little girl with the butterfly t-shirt looking back “at me”. We will refer to them now as “J” and “J”!  I now know what it means to feel overwhelmed, overwhelmed in the best way!  Patrick and I talked on the phone about the marvel of getting this call on valentines of all things and tried to process as best we could in our short phone conversation-knowing that we would have much more to say as the day went on. Business as usual (yeah right!),  I had one more client, and had my volunteer tutoring at the school that day, and we talked briefly again briefly in between his parent/teacher conferences, but I think we were both still in a state of shock and amazement. It probably sounds weird to say shock since we have been waiting for this day for so long, but I think it was a such an emotional blend of thanksgiving and awe of how BIG and AWESOME our God is in giving us this gift of love on a day that is set aside for  that very purpose of unending love and devotion (yes, even a little of  that sappy “be mine” valentine kind of love too!) mixed with heartbreak….heartbreak as we translated documents that gave us a small glimpse of what  life had been like for them. All I can say is they have experienced more abuse and neglect than any young person (or anyone!) should. This mixture of emotions sent me spinning in a way that blended peace and restlessness; peace in the sense that we are going to say yes to this match-say yes to these precious ones; and a restlessness in everything from A-Z entering and exiting in my neural pathways! Everything from—”I need/want to learn sooo much more Spanish so I can talk to them and also try to make sense of some of these documents (thankfully Patrick knows more about google translate than me) to— furnishing their rooms, to— wow, when will we leave, to–righteous anger toward some facts that were disclosed-how could anybody harm a child like that?! to—I just want to talk to my mom and tell her (and all) the news now..but I need to pray and process this first and sit down with Patick, to—I wonder what their idea of family looks like right now? to—I just need to go pray, no, I need to go for a run and vigorous workout, to—ahh, God You are so good and faithful and You are going to continue to be our Guide and Compass in ALL  of this, to—okay, I just need to sit for a minute and take this in… I read the following: “Bury your fears in your faith, and believe enough to leap into the unseen”! Okay, I say a prayer…I get up and think about”  what we are going to do tonight for valentines…I think about all the inevitable questions, I pray again..I think about calling someone, but then I wait again cause I need to talk to hubby first, I’m all over the map I tell ya and wonder if I have ADD ! I sit down to read again and this time it actually sinks in! “The things which are impossible with men are possible with God” (Luke 18:27) “Everything is safe which we commit to Him, and nothing is really safe which is not so committed” (Tozer). I commit it all to Him and rest in the fact that He knows I will continue to surrender, then get restless, then surrender again, and the cycle continues but it does end in peace. Constant surrender and trusting God to meet me where I am in all this whirl of emotions and reality! Yes, this is amazing, and yes, it’s going to be crazy, and I guess that now is really the time (to quote my first blog) to ‘BUCKLE UP’!!

So, our answer to the match is…….an emphatic YES

Um, didn’t you mean “Friday”? You know it’s TGIF not TGIT right?! Well, I am going to stick with TGIT today and probably every Thursday from here on… It’s 1:30 am on Thursday right now, and I am not writing because it is Valentines day- although I am a sucker for some sappy ol movies snuggled up with my sweetie and pooch on the couch. I am writing because for some reason I find myself oddly perky at this late hour. I look down at the necklace I am wearing that says “have faith” right next to the 2 heart pendants with the Mark 10:14 “Let the little children come to Me” and my romantic self thinks how awesome it would be if we got “the call” today from Beth or Iris letting us know that we have been matched. That would be amazing in so many ways: first and most obvious, because this would be the end of the beginning of a little over a year and a half of paperwork getting a stamp of approval. Yes, I have a way of summing up the lovely, long, and  logistical paper trail of adoption into a tiny, but tidy word that says ‘APPROVAL” and really that is the big picture of what has been taking place over the last year and a half. This is our status  right now:  Feb. 1, we were officially approved, and that is a victory, a praise, in and of itself! That is the last box to be checked before we get the “you guys have been matched” call. Iris told me that most likely we would get that call on a Thursday but it could be any Thursday. So what do you think that I did last Thursday? To say that I had the excited jitters would be accurate, yeah, I pretty much felt like I do the morning of a big offroad Xterra triathlon race…like something BIG was about to happen! Race day jitters are filled with excitement, adrenolin, nerves,  a little fear/ anticipation of the unknown ( rocky,steep, rooty) trail, and the inevitable discomfort that will be mixed in with the love and thrill  exploring God’s amazing creation, and  the challenge of just being in a competitive race. I told Patrick  one reason I love mountain biking /trail run races is that they get me out of my comfort zone, and I tend to like my comfort zone-when I am in it-but getting out of it requires that little nudge-okay push-that fuels me. Okay,back to last Thursday for heaven sakes! I felt the jitters because it was Thursday, and well, my phone might ring, and it might be Iris telling us that we have a match! I was driving to western Carolina to meet my college roomies for a reunion and how sweet it would be to be able to share that news with my lifelong friends (after first calling Patrick of course!) But, it didn’t happen… last Thursday was not the day. God’s timing, God’s timing, I kept repeating to myself  all day…God’s perfect timing, His ways are higher than my ways, His ways are perfect; I see only a snippet, but He sees the big picture. I’m thankful, I really am. I’m thankful because He is on the throne and I am not. I’m thankful-not because it is the kosher thing to say-but truly because I can embrace Him in the now. I can only live today to the best of my ability, trusting in Him with every ounce of strength I can muster.  I  take a deep breath, thankful that His strength is a mighty tower, and His light is a beacon that  shines like the noontime sun. When mine starts to set on the horizon, He sends the moon.  I don’t want to miss today out of anticipating what tomorrow holds. I attend a “parenting class for children who have experienced trauma” on Tuesday nights and I hear stories-real life heartbreaking, hard to hear stories of real mom’s and dad’s caring for their children in creative and winsome ways. Its horrible but its hopeful. I know they must be living one moment at a time, receiving God’s grace for each and every single moment. I could talk about all I am learning through this class, through reading, through prayer, through friends, and then I go back to the now. His grace is sufficient for the now. His power gives me everything I need to live victoriously-for the now. His Word is true for the past, hope for the future, and certainty for today. Will we get “the call” today?! I don’t know but I do know that He loves these kids wayyy more than I do and His plan is trustworthy. Okay, puffy eyes will be the result of this late night, actually early morning writing, and I know that my valentine, my clients, and my spanish students, need me to be somewhat functional  tomorrow, yikes-I mean today, so I will go get the coffee ready to be brewed in a few hours! The next blog will be called MATCHED!

The beautiful words “I love you” spoken yesterday by Lisbeth, the beautiful (inside and out) little girl that I am working with to help her with the basics of the English language. I go to Forest Pines Elementary (I happen to have a crush on the principal at this school!) on Thursdays and work with three Spanish-speaking children to help them with their reading, writing, and basic math. Again, I am so thankful for this time in my life to be able to get involved and give back in new ways. Working with these kids is something that I look forward to doing, and like everything else in life, the payback is usually greater than the effort. That absolutely rang true today when Lisbeth smothered me with a bear hug and said “Te amo” which means “I love you” and ohh did my heart melt?! I  think about our little Ticos  as we continue to wait, think about, and pray for them daily!  I can’t even imagine the joy when the day comes that we will be able to SAY and HEAR these sweet words from “our” children/our Ticos. Time is moving slowly, but we know that each day is one day closer to them. What are they doing at this moment? In their loneliness, how I hope they hang on to hope. Hope- in the fact that in spite of all the hurt in their lives, that there is a BIG God who sees them, who calls them by name, who has great plans for them, and promises to never leave them as orphans. He promises that to all of His children-adoption into His family, how awesome is that? We all were orphans who have been adopted into His family, and this is our hope today and tomorrow. Everyone who is reading this now…take a second and grasp hold of this hope that is a guarantee…that we “did not receive the spirit of bondage to fear, but received the spirit of ADOPTION by whom we cry out ‘Abba Father’ ” Romans 8:15 and following. I cannot think of another family that I would rather be adopted into, can you?!

Oh, and just to clarify my crush….that would be….my husband

Dear _______ and _________,

What are you doing right now?

Are you in school?

Are you kicking a soccer ball? Are you laughing, crying, sleeping, day dreaming? I would love to know.

I miss you, though I don’t even know you or your name (s) yet.

We have a room for you in our home, and we have a home for you in our hearts.

Patrick and I are preparing for you in the best way we know how.

We just want you to know that you are already in our hearts.

What are your hobbies?

Do you remember your past?

We will walk with you through the hurt.

We will have pillow fights, roast marshmallows, hopefully enjoy beach sunsets and mountain summits.

We will  surround you with family and friends.

I just want you to know that we will love you. Period.

Mom and Dad

Paperwork, paperwork, and more paperwork! Oh wait, then there’s more paperwork  They told us when we started this process to expect a couple of years, so I guess I should not be surprised that it actually might take a couple of years! We have discovered that a “couple” is a safe way to say…”hey, were really not sure, but hang in there okay”! Our sweet social workers at Lifeline adoption agency are always so upbeat and keep us focused on the moment. We have to stay in the moment since the unknowns are so many… faith, faith, and more faith-the absolute essential guide that piggy backs the paperwork, paperwork, paperwork! It was a timely reminder this morning as I read (Jesus Calling devotional) about Abraham and Sarah, and how God’s time frame is often different than ours. I mean, 100 years old and giving birth-really?! Okay, surely we can wait for two years! I can only imagine how the wait intensified their joy, and can only look forward to how that joy will play out as we continue to sort/sign and plow/ pay our way through many more documents, visits, and steps necessary  to be able to call them “nuestros hijos” (our children)!

I remind myself that any form of anxiety just empties today of its gusto, and that the best antidote for restless anxiety is this….LEAVE IT AT THE CROSS! Simply stated needs constant reinforcement! Hebrews 10:23 “Let us hold UNSWERVINGLY to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful”. I love this definition of faith: TO PERCEIVE AS FACT WHAT IS NOT REVEALED TO THE SENSES. I am so thankful that God is never dormant! Good things are happening in us as we prepare, and I’m sure the wait is also good-in some way-for our little ones. At the end of the day….every signed document/report written/signed check means that we are one step closer to bringing them home…forever.

I must begin by saying this….I am in awe of my friends who are moms! It goes without saying that I am in awe of MY mom, and I grow to appreciate that more with each passing year-so true! So, I am “dedicating” this blog not only to my mom, but to my friends who are mom’s.

This is anything but all-inclusive since it is not possible to mention all of my amazing mom friends out there, so please know that this is but a small tip of my hat…

Karen- the self-sacrifice that you display is so humbling and so inspiring!

Twila and Christa-how in the WORLD do you do it?! And with such GRACE!

Katie W-your dedication is truly selfless.

Katie B-so much wisdom mixed with such candor and humor! Wish you still lived here, but thankful for unlimited phone minutes!

Laura-never ever a dull moment-ya just never know what your gonna get!

Sue-dares to be different in the boldest ways-and I love it!

Shannon and Heather-and you still have the energy to cook like that-really?!

Lisa-showing that the role of mom can be both nurturing and spunky!

All my runner friends-that delicate BALANCE you so eloquently display in pursuing and achieving excellence !

My life long high school friends and 3 sis’s in law-I don’t have to see you regularly to know that your dedication to your families is your PRIMARY!

Leah and Lori-showing that ability to adapt with such STYLE!

Kathy, Kelly, and my aunt/second mom Carol-one word resonates with me, and that is…. RELENTLESS. Relentless love for your kids- in the best way!

My Mom,  this side of Heaven-she has shown me love that is c o n s t a n t,  and from the bottom of my heart…you are MY INSPIRATION.

Okay, so I know that my dad and brother are not mom’s (per say), but if I can have an ounce of the amount of love that is in my dad’s huge heart, and bottle up my brother’s unwavering devotion, I know I will love our kids with passionate intensity.

I did not start writing with the intention of publishing a Hallmark card, really! The raw emotion of appreciating the people in my life just took over…signing off now